Balancing Excellence, Ego, and Understanding

"Your worship was so great this morning."

When I was younger, a phrase like this would've supercharged me. I was putting my "10,000 hours" in practicing guitar and leading music for church services—and when I received praise, it was a major source of validation for all the work I had done. 

Eventually though, it began to wear on me. I wanted to pursue humility, and receiving praise phrased this way felt wrong. But in recent years, this same phrase supercharges me, but in a different way. 

The Trap of Excellence and Ego

Ego is a funny thing. All my life, I've always pursued "how to do things right," or excellence, and that manifested mainly in music. I would feel validated when I received praise; it meant that my work was paying off. If I hit wrong notes, or when someone else made mistakes, I would get frustrated and withdraw. Later on, when I pursued humility and tried to direct my focus away from myself, I approached it with the same drive for excellence that I had for music, but inevitably, the same sense of frustration would arise when I would receive praise for my work. This performance-driven mentality that bore frustration with myself and others led to condescension towards, or even avoidance from people in the church. 

What I didn't understand was the people giving me praise were articulating their appreciation for the work that I did to lead them—they already knew that the focus was on glorifying God. So in my quest for humility, my own self-centered attitude actually got in the way! I had totally missed the bigger picture in each of those moments—a fellow brother or sister who simply was encouraging me as we worshipped together. 

Finding Balance Through Understanding

These days, I'm trying my best to reframe my mentality and response when I hear praise. A simple, "Thank you, I'm glad you were encouraged—the band did a great job preparing!" acknowledges the person giving the praise, while also keeping my pride in check—both in its inflation ("Yes! I was excellent.") and its indignation ("*sigh* They don't get it! It's not about me; it's about God.")

Some say that there's something to be said for "healthy pride." To keep terms separated, and to avoid confusion, it might be better to view healthy pride in terms of joy coupled with thankfulness and humility.

A recent talk with a ministry leader left me with this thought that he imparted: "Let God work in your zone of genius, and He will bless it. I know how to do this [insert skill/talent/gift], and in my obedience to glorify Him in this way, I remember that God is great..." That last phrase framed this balance in a different way for me: God has created me with abilities, and He is great and glorified when I pursue them in excellence. When appreciation comes, we have an opportunity to thank the Lord for His blessings of talents/abilities/gifts and praise Him for the chance of using them to worship Him. We also get to share that moment with another person, which is encouraging and uplifting for both.

So that "supercharge" I talked about earlier? It's changed from inflating my ego to spurring a joy that is thankful for the opportunity to worship with the people in my community. I'm thankful to create something as excellently as I can because God has created me for that purpose, and when others are blessed by the fruit of that labor, I don't have to shy away into false humility. 

Be blessed 👊✌️